Making your own wedding vows is like making love poetry that’s for public speaking; public performance poetry, to be exact. Your wedding vows basically summarize all your promises to your partner that you’re willing to commit to, officially, in front of an officiating officer. In the process you may recall some hurting or eye-opening experiences, but that’s how making vows is supposed to be. You would be thinking of what had happened in your relationship, and what wonderful things you want to happen that you are willing to commit to. Wedding or marriage vows are not just words – it carries the weight of your commitment. It seems to be a daunting task, but if you are truly ready for marriage, it would be a very simple task. Here are some ideas to help you get started.
- Make sure your officiating officer permits personalized wedding vows. There is no use in making your own vows if you’re not allowed to say them. Most wedding officiators ask couples to cite traditional vows, including the memorable lines “in sickness and in health…’till death do us part”.
- Speaking of traditional vows, you can make them as an inspiration for both the message and the tone of your wedding vows. Refer to poetry books, movies, novels, anything romantic and creative. You can freely get cues from them. Copying lines do not need APA citations here. When it comes to the tone, decide if you’re going for little light-hearted or seriously romantic tone, or you can just freely make up a unique tone.
- If you’re a detail-oriented person, review your high school composition class. Brainstorm ideas of what you want to say and organize them by making an outline. It would be easier for you to make a composition if you are following an outline. Don’t forget that you still have to be creative and sparingly witty. If you want to make a technically perfect vow, you can check the grammar and style. Still, it’s still the content that counts. Don’t forget to be coherent and concise. Don’t make a very long wedding vow because you may hear snoring after minutes. In fact, the shorter your vow, the more creative you’ll be in making it very profound and heartfelt.
- As for the vow’s content, it’s truly hard to think of it in one sitting. There are ways you can produce the content. Preferably, spend some time alone. We know it’s kind of difficult and strange to be separated from your partner now that you’re going to get married. Think of it as a pre-marriage retreat. A little bit of introspection can help you think of what to commit to. Has your partner inspired you to do things? What has changed since you met your partner? Up to what extent is your love to your partner? These are examples of questions you can answer while reflecting. Meditation and silence is the only way to listen to what our heart really says.
- Figure out if you and your partner would have separate vows, or the same vows. If you would have separate vows, the tip above would work great for you. If you’ll be making it together, then take the “pre-marriage retreat” a week or three days before the wedding. Besides preparing you for a drastic change in your lives, it would help you strengthen your relationship, too, by spending some time alone with each other and reviewing your love for each other.