Should You Go Dutch With The Engagement Ring?

Couples share spending from rent to food and there is nothing unusual about that. But, when a guy asked his fiancé to go Dutch with the engagement ring, then that becomes unusual. So, the question is, if your fiancé asked you to split the cost for the engagement ring, would you be alright with it? This topic is becoming a trending topic these days after The Knot.com posted this intriguing topic, which became a trending question on Facebook and Twitter.

It is a topic most people would have a strong opinion about. And, it would be easy for us to see that there are those who favor it and those who don’t. However, in a normal setting, the boy pops the question to the girl and the girl will be all thrilled and excited that she will immediately accept. But, this 2013, times are changing and going Dutch may probably be accepted by many.

The reaction of so many people when asked on Twitter: “Have you ever gone Dutch with the engagement ring?”  “Would you do it?” and “What do you think of the idea?” Garnered answers such as:

  • “We worked together we’re a team so it makes sense.”
  • “Great idea!”
  • “Look, if she wants to pay half, who am I to stop her.”

The reactions of these people are a sign of the times that is really changing. A lot of couples are living in together with shared finances. So when it comes to a big decision such as an engagement ring, they feel that it should be a mutual decision. So is chivalry dead or does this make sense? For the other half of the responses these include:

  • “I wouldn’t marry him if we split the cost.”
  • “I may be old fashioned but it should be a surprise.”
  • “Not a fan of that.”
  • “I was engaged once, and we split the ring and we broke up after that.”
  • “I did. Now divorced. Not recommended.”

Another interesting result from Today.com was a survey when asked the simple question of, “Would you be willing to split the cost of an engagement ring?” on their Twitter page. 54% answered “No” while 46% answered “Yes.” Although the survey did not include the numbers of male and female respondents on their Twitter question.

Living in together before getting married is just becoming normal and most of these couples have joint accounts and merged finances. So, it is easy to find the argument of these people who say that engagement and marriage is a team continuation of that life, thus it makes sense to split the cost especially if it involves something that is expensive like a piece of jewelry.

However, most women are still traditional when it comes to the proposal. It still is important when a guy talks to the father or parents first. Most women would still want the ring to be a surprise with the guy kneeling on one knee (if possible), then asking with his whole heart and soul for the girl’s hand in marriage, as opposed to her choosing one and buying half of it herself.

While this may be an interesting option for most men, most women would still find the value of the proposal cheap both literally and figuratively if she would be asked to pay for the half of it. Part of this reason is because of the sacrifice behind the proposal, which is relatively what marriage is all about. If you do agree with the traditional idea of the guy asking the girl to marry him, wouldn’t it be great to think that that person went to the limits to save up and pick up a ring you would be proud of? A bride who receives a ring her groom chose wholeheartedly will feel the love that was made in the process. The truth is, it does not matter if the ring is big or how much it cost. What matters is the effort that came with it and the symbol it holds to the giver.

But, of course, every couple should do exactly what fits them. But with so many expectations and the variables that come with every proposal, it is necessary to know each other’s perspective when it comes to deep meaningful relationships and the expectations you have for each other.

We might even see a time when going Dutch on the engagement ring may become the norm by the time our kids get hitched. But, what do you think about it? Whether you go Dutch or go traditional, keep in mind that it is still love that makes for happy marriage and not the price tag.